Monday, April 11, 2016

April 14 Is Cake And Cunnilingus Day!


April 14 is Cake and Cunnilingus Day! So, gentlemen, are you ready to serve her?

In case you've been living under a rock, Cake and Cunnilingus Day is the women's response to Steak And Blow Job Day, which was exactly one month ago on March 14. Steak and Blow Job Day was the dude's answer to Valentine's Day. Men were weary of being expected to dish out the cash for flowers, chocolates, toy teddy bears carrying hearts, and fancy dinners for the women in their lives. They wanted payback, hence Steak and Blow Job Day exactly one month later on March 14. Men are easy to please. They want meat. BJs. Toss in a few brews. That'll make them happy.

Well, women raised their eyebrows and said, "We can't let this one get by us", and they created Cake and Cunnilingus Day. Guys, get out that flavoured lube and prepare to do a little labial spelunking. I just love these fake holidays. What's extra special is that Steak and BJ Day happens to fall on my birthday. Joyous. 

We could keep these holidays going all year round.

February 14 - Valentine's Day
March 14 - Steak and BJ Day
April 14 - Cake and Cunnilingus Day
May 14 - Absinthe and Anal Day
June 14 - Biscuits and Bondage Day
July 15 - Fruit and Figging Day
August 15 - Pastries and Pegging Day
September 15 - Candy and CBT Day

And so on and so on...

Although lesbian couples enjoy eating fur pie, this article is geared towards dudes celebrating Cake and Cunnilingus Day with the special women in their lives. However, these cunnilingus tips apply to anyone who wants to use them.

If you are tongue-tied when it comes to muff diving, here are some tips to drive her mad with pleasure:

* Women - take a shower beforehand if you're the least bit squicked out about smell.

* Women - don't be afraid to guide him and tell him what pleases you.

* Men - lick her clit. That's where all the action is. You may want to lick around it rather than directly on it since some women are sensitive to direct contact.

* Gently pull back the hood of her clit and suck on it - gently. Don't roughride all over her like a Saint Bernard slobbering over everything.

* Follow her lead. Speed up when she wants it fast and slow down when she is in a more mellow mood.

* Don't use only your tongue. You have lips as well.

* Inhale her scent to help you really get into it. Her scent will be more pronounced - and much more of a turn-on - if she has more than a landing strip of pubic hair. Ladies, grow your bush and be proud! Blokes, occasionally make eye contact. Connect with her both physically and emotionally. The experience will be the best - for both of you.

* Insert a finger or two or three in her vagina as you suck and lick. The dual sensations will drive her mad!

* Insert a finger in her anus to drive her into the sexual stratosphere.

Try the following positions when performing cunnilingus:

* Missionary - She lies on her back on the bed with her legs spread. He is on top, between her legs, either lying sideways or he squats on the floor whilst she's on the bed.

* From The Rear - She sits doggie-style and he approaches her from behind. This is a great position for gaining access to her breasts to further stimulate her.

* Face-Sitting - He lies on his back on the bed and she squats over his face. She may lean forward on her arms if her legs become tired.

Have a great Cake and Cunnilingus Day! I prefer Devil's Food and other types of chocolate cake. I'll remind my husband of that on this special day. Ha!

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